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Blind Luck2: No Way Back Chapter 11
Blind Luck2: No Way Back
Chapter 11
The club was already open when he entered and he was startled by the greeting of 'Mayō? How nice to see you!' from the owner. He hadn't realized he had missed the kind man with his warm welcome, his old name sounding familiar on the man's tongue. He felt for a moment he had stepped back in time. But before the blind man could correct the owner said, 'My you look wonderful! Being around pros must agree with you!'
Sai felt his face heat up; it was one thing to be center of attention because of a Go game, it was quite another to be praised for his looks. Especially because he knew there was nothing to see, he was very thin, had always been, and the she-man at the shelter had called him pale. Not much of a recommendation all around really.
'Oh!' came from behind him. The owner had moved around him, without him realizing it.
'Your hair, it's so long!' the man exclaimed. It was then that Sai remembered that Ogata had requested he leave it hanging out some days ago and he had not bothered putting it inside his clothes ever since. The reminder of Ogata's existence was a stabbing pain, but Sai quickly quelled it; Ogata and his world did not belong at the Heart of Stone, and Sai was not letting him in, even if it was only in his own mind.
He decided that honesty was best and said, 'Owner-san,' and bowed. 'Thank you for your welcome. I have good news: I have found my name, I'm no longer 'Lost'.' The owner and several other men gasped. Oh my, he was already gathering an audience, might as well do it properly then, he thought.
'I have the honor to introduce myself as Fujiwara Sai now. Please call me Sai.' He bowed again.
'Oh how wonderful! So you've got your memory back then?' the owner asked enthusiastically. Sai's happy feeling at finally being able to use his full name fell at the man's question. Honesty compelled him to answer: 'Ah, no,' he dropped his head some and swallowed. 'I met someone who had met me before. He, uh,' Oh hell, keeping secrets was hard, and Sai hadn't thought he'd have to lie to these people right way. He had hoped for some games first...
'He only knew my name, we, uh, met on NetGo...' Sai trailed off there, he couldn't think of anything more to say as he really didn't know enough about Internet or NetGo. Hopefully they wouldn't ask him too much about it. A niggling bud of worry started in his belly; he was pretty sure they would. If not now than later.
'Say,' a new voice said, one Sai hadn't heard before, 'You're the one that was here last week, that's everybody's been raving about ever since?' Sai's face colored again; they have been raving about him? He nodded, indicating the answer to the man's question.
'I wasn't here last week but I'd really like to play you now.' the man said.
'Hey! I was gonna ask him first!' a more familiar voice said. He was one of the men Sai had played before, 6 stones, good defense, needs work on attack strategies.
'And what about me?' The man who had spoken up was one Sai had played at 7 stones and had a good offence, but was very poor at reading deeper into the game. His name was Terauchi-san, if Sai remembered correctly.
There were more vying for Sai's attention on the Goban and presently the owner had him seated and the first man who had asked to play him was instructed on how to play the blind man by old man Soga.
/'So everything worked out with the Go-pro at that fancy Go club, Kawai-kun took you to?'/ the owner almost whispered in Sai's left ear, taking advantage of the distraction of Soga's explanations to Sai's new opponent.
/'You knew about that?'/ Sai was shocked, he wouldn't have thought the owner would have condoned Kawai's action of dumping the blind man with a bunch of strangers.
/'I didn't like the idea at first, but Kawai-kun was right, you had to find out what your level was, and that couldn't be done here. When he returned without you I assumed they were a better match for you, and you decided to stay. I'm glad to see you and all, but what are you doing here? You really should be playing those people.'/ the man asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.
Sai had been relieved to hear the owner had not known that Kawai had just left him at the other club. But the man's assertion that Sai should there and not be here, worried him. He vehemently hoped the owner would not send him away, because where would he go than?
/'There wasn't any sort of problem, was there?'/ the owner added, when the blind man didn't respond straight away.
/'I, uhm, met some new people there and I slept over at one of the pro's place for a few nights,'/ Sai didn't want to name Ogata. /'But, uhm, we had a falling out, of sorts, and I don't know if I want to go back there.../' he confessed.
/'I see,/' the owner said pensively. /'Well, you're perfectly welcome here anytime,'/ he said cheerfully and clamped a big hand on Sai shoulder, stepping back before Sai could thank him.
Sai's opponent was called Doumoto and the owner and old man Soga advised him to play Sai at a 7 stone handicap, even though the man objected at the perceived insult to his Go ability.
As Sai responded to the first move, placing the corresponding stones on his imaginary Goban, a wave a pure happiness went through him. He was playing Go again, with the prospect of many more games today, how marvelous! Everything else in his life faded to the background, and his world narrowed to a 19 by 19 grid once more.
xXXx
About 50 hands into the game Sai was having serious doubts about the recommended handicap the owner and Soga-san had set for this player. This man needed more like 9 or 10 stones, Sai thought. He didn't want to pulverize his opponent! Apart from the fact that that would be rude, it made for very poor Go and made the player who did the pulverizing look like a bully. And that was surely not what Sai wanted!
He cast about at what to do; if he played on like this, crushing Doumoto was inevitable. Then Sai had an idea. He had seen the man had blind spot; he liked to play around the star points and tended to forget there was a center and sides too. How about Sai lead the other player there and showed him there was more room out there.
He called a coordinate that placed a stone near one of the sides of the board. This move would not gain him any territory, nor would it defend any existing territory, nor was it an offensive move. The move solely was meant to draw the other man's focus to a different location, and maybe he'd learn something new.
Sai waited with baited breath if his move had the desired effect. He had led opponents around the board before but always with the intent of getting them at a disadvantage, never before just to teach them new possibilities.
Doumoto thought for a long time, before he finally put a stone next to Sai's. It was almost as if he were asking the blind man, 'Where are we going?' or 'What are you showing me here?'. Sai played more stones at that location, not trying to set traps or gain ground, to which Doumoto answered with more questioning stones. After the blind man was satisfied the other had realized that this was a location one could play at, he played his next move at /tengen/; the center of the board.
His opponent again followed him and they started a merry dance around the center star. Once Sai was satisfied that this location had been pointed out enough he turned back to more seriously playing the game. Overall the board was now a big mess with only a cohesive battle field around the first star point they had started the game with. Sai started to strengthen his formation there, while Doumoto tried to get a foot in as well.
Sai was absolutely delighted that once his opponent had decided there was nothing more he could do at the star point, he moved to the only clear bit of space that was left, close to the side of the board and not anywhere near a star. Wow. The man had actually learned, after Sai had shown him the way. The feeling of accomplishment made Sai's hands tingle.
oOOo
It was after the game that the trouble started. Sai was sitting back in his chair, nursing a plastic cup of green tea the owner had gotten him, still very satisfied with himself when Doumoto spoke.
'You played /shidogo/ with me, didn't you?' he asked, sounding miffed.
/Shidogo/?
'What is /shidogo/,' Sai asked, genuinely ignorant.
'Don't play dumb with me! You can't play /shidogo/ with someone at 7 stones and still win, and then tell me you don't know what /shidogo/ is!'
Sai pulled both his arms in front of himself, would have spilled his drink had he not finished it already, in a defensive move at the tone of the man. Doumoto's voice had come from above him, indicating the man had gotten up and was looming over the blind man. And he sounded very very angry.
/Not again/, was all Sai could think. Why did he keep getting into trouble? Every time he had tried something new with Go, somebody ended up mad at him.
Sai pulled his arms up higher and pleaded, /'Don't hit me,'/ his voice no more than a whisper.
'Doumoto-san!' the owners voice called. 'Leave him be. He probably really doesn't know. He didn't learn to play Go until a week ago!'
The looming presence moved away and Sai slowly let down his arms from over his head, keeping them in front of his chest, just in case.
'What?!? A week ago? That's impossible! I don't believe it!' The man had stepped back some, but Sai didn't feel safe enough to relax quite yet.
'It's true,' old man Soga interjected, 'I was there when he walked in the door. I saw Owner-san play him for the first time. Played him right after, twice, and saw him grow before my eyes. It was marvelous!'
Sai lowered his arms and started to blush with the praise.
'Doumoto-san,' the owner said, 'I've never heard Mayō here, I mean Fujiwara, tell an untruth, I don't even think he could, so you can believe him when he says he doesn't know something.'
Sai's blush drained away. Never tell an untruth? He had not lied about not knowing /shidogo/ but his stomach squeezed at the reminder of the lies he had told earlier. He had lied to these people, who hadn't been anything but nice and honest to him, and he knew he would have to lie again if their questions became too awkward. The prospect gave the blind man chills.
'Well alright, if you say so Owner-san,' Doumoto conceded, having moved back to his position at the other side of the Goban.
'/Shidogo/ is when you use your moves to teach your opponent something about game strategy, during the game. /Shidogo/ means teaching-go. Winning is not the aim, teaching is. And it's only possible to use the technique if the teacher is much stronger at Go than the pupil.' Soga patiently explained to the blind man.
Only if the teacher is much stronger? Maybe Sai should have expected to be stronger than his current opponent, but he really hadn't thought about it in those terms. If he had played /shidogo/ at a 7 stone disadvantage and still had won then...
'Doumoto-san, forgive me!' Sai bowed deeply. 'I meant no insult! I just wanted to make the game last longer and I had noticed you seemed to skip certain areas of the board. I, I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry...' he trailed off.
A silence fell. Had he made it worse by apologizing?
'Apology accepted,' the other man finally said, sounding a touch reluctant. Sai found himself exhaling. Maybe he had not made an enemy after all. And the blind man hoped that over time he could make him a friend.
xXXx
'Now I want to play you,' Soga announced.
'Hey, I said that I wanted to before you did!' a voice came from behind him. The 6 stone player, whose name he could not quite recall.
'Age before beauty, I want to gauge his strength,' the old man said and that seemed to settle the argument as the Goban was cleared and the /goke/ refilled.
Again the owner took the opportunity to whisper into Sai left ear.
/'There was a phone call earlier for you, while you were playing. A fellow called Ogata was looking for you.'/
Oh no, Ogata had tracked him down? How could he have?
/'You didn't tell him I'm here did you?!'/ Sai tried to keeps his voice to a whisper too.
/'No, I didn't think you'd like me to.'/
/'Oh good. Thank you,'/ the blind man sighed in relief. He did not want Ogata to know anything about this place right now.
/'Is that the same Ogata-pro that holds the Jūdan title?'/ the owner inquired.
Sai hadn't heard the name of the title Ogata held, but there couldn't be many Ogata's with high Go rankings and a title out there, so chances were that it was him. Sai nodded.
/'Is that also the one who you had the falling out with?'/ was the owner's next question.
Sai gave a single nod. He wasn't going to lie about it, but he did wish the owner would drop the subject soon.
/'So you have a contact number?'/
Again a single nod.
/'Look, you'd better call him, he sounded really worried. He said he's been calling every Go-club in Tokyo looking for you.'/
Ogata was worried? Or was he merely upset his pet ran away? No, that was not a very charitable thought, Sai chastised himself.
The owner was right of course, and Sai knew it. But he didn't feel like talking to the titleholder just yet. Especially not now that Soga announced he was ready to play.
/'Maybe later,'/ he told the owner dismissively and then pointed all his attention at the game and his repeat opponent.
oOOo
Soga had claimed all the corner stars and /tengen/ as his 5 stone head start.
'Don't molly coddle me now, sonny, I want to see your current strength, so play me properly.' the man commanded.
Sai nodded and then concentrated on the game.
It was within the first 30 moves that Sai started to notice a very unsettling fact; the 5 stones that he had played the man at last week, were not the right number. It should be nearer 7 or 8. But that did not tally with the number 5 they had correctly settled on a week ago.
By move 51 Sai was sorely tempted to go easy on the old man. With the way he was clobbering the man right now, this game would be over really soon. But Soga had insisted, no 'molly coddling', and going against his express command seemed more disrespectful to Sai than clobbering him. But still, it hurt the blind man to have to eviscerate someone in this way, even if they had asked for it.
By move 68 Soga resigned. There was not a battlement of his left standing and if they had counted the man's points, they would have come up with 0.
This is not how Sai wanted to play Go, pounding an opponent into the ground, it was horrible, it made him feel dirty, like was an utter bully. He vowed never to do it again.
The former ghost who had tried to hide his moist eyes behind his hand since move 56, now lowered it and said, 'I'm so sorry, I...'
'Don't you dare apologize!' the old man barked.
'I asked, and now I know. You are not to blame.' Soga's voice had softened somewhat. He paused before continuing slowly. 'When Kawai-kun told me he had taken you to the pro-Go club and just left you there, I was not pleased. He said that you belonged there and not here. Why would you not belong here? Are we not good enough for you? I thought.' The old man audibly exhaled. 'But now that I played you, at full strength, I realize he was right. You grew into a giant in the few days you've been away. We're like ants now. You belong there and not here, Fujiwara-sensei.' Soga let out a long sight.
Everyone was silent, as tears ran down the blind man's face. Sai wanted to scream 'No that's not true! I belong here, with you!' But he knew it was a lie. Here he'd never play anyone of his own level, here he'd never have the chance to even glimpse the Hand of God. Here his Go could never grow, and he feared that very soon he'd resent that fact.
Sai covered his face with his hand and started crying in earnest. This was not his home, or his haven, and the rejection hurt him deeply.
oOOo
Don't forget to review!!!!
C'mon guys, gimme some love!!!
Chapter 11
The club was already open when he entered and he was startled by the greeting of 'Mayō? How nice to see you!' from the owner. He hadn't realized he had missed the kind man with his warm welcome, his old name sounding familiar on the man's tongue. He felt for a moment he had stepped back in time. But before the blind man could correct the owner said, 'My you look wonderful! Being around pros must agree with you!'
Sai felt his face heat up; it was one thing to be center of attention because of a Go game, it was quite another to be praised for his looks. Especially because he knew there was nothing to see, he was very thin, had always been, and the she-man at the shelter had called him pale. Not much of a recommendation all around really.
'Oh!' came from behind him. The owner had moved around him, without him realizing it.
'Your hair, it's so long!' the man exclaimed. It was then that Sai remembered that Ogata had requested he leave it hanging out some days ago and he had not bothered putting it inside his clothes ever since. The reminder of Ogata's existence was a stabbing pain, but Sai quickly quelled it; Ogata and his world did not belong at the Heart of Stone, and Sai was not letting him in, even if it was only in his own mind.
He decided that honesty was best and said, 'Owner-san,' and bowed. 'Thank you for your welcome. I have good news: I have found my name, I'm no longer 'Lost'.' The owner and several other men gasped. Oh my, he was already gathering an audience, might as well do it properly then, he thought.
'I have the honor to introduce myself as Fujiwara Sai now. Please call me Sai.' He bowed again.
'Oh how wonderful! So you've got your memory back then?' the owner asked enthusiastically. Sai's happy feeling at finally being able to use his full name fell at the man's question. Honesty compelled him to answer: 'Ah, no,' he dropped his head some and swallowed. 'I met someone who had met me before. He, uh,' Oh hell, keeping secrets was hard, and Sai hadn't thought he'd have to lie to these people right way. He had hoped for some games first...
'He only knew my name, we, uh, met on NetGo...' Sai trailed off there, he couldn't think of anything more to say as he really didn't know enough about Internet or NetGo. Hopefully they wouldn't ask him too much about it. A niggling bud of worry started in his belly; he was pretty sure they would. If not now than later.
'Say,' a new voice said, one Sai hadn't heard before, 'You're the one that was here last week, that's everybody's been raving about ever since?' Sai's face colored again; they have been raving about him? He nodded, indicating the answer to the man's question.
'I wasn't here last week but I'd really like to play you now.' the man said.
'Hey! I was gonna ask him first!' a more familiar voice said. He was one of the men Sai had played before, 6 stones, good defense, needs work on attack strategies.
'And what about me?' The man who had spoken up was one Sai had played at 7 stones and had a good offence, but was very poor at reading deeper into the game. His name was Terauchi-san, if Sai remembered correctly.
There were more vying for Sai's attention on the Goban and presently the owner had him seated and the first man who had asked to play him was instructed on how to play the blind man by old man Soga.
/'So everything worked out with the Go-pro at that fancy Go club, Kawai-kun took you to?'/ the owner almost whispered in Sai's left ear, taking advantage of the distraction of Soga's explanations to Sai's new opponent.
/'You knew about that?'/ Sai was shocked, he wouldn't have thought the owner would have condoned Kawai's action of dumping the blind man with a bunch of strangers.
/'I didn't like the idea at first, but Kawai-kun was right, you had to find out what your level was, and that couldn't be done here. When he returned without you I assumed they were a better match for you, and you decided to stay. I'm glad to see you and all, but what are you doing here? You really should be playing those people.'/ the man asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.
Sai had been relieved to hear the owner had not known that Kawai had just left him at the other club. But the man's assertion that Sai should there and not be here, worried him. He vehemently hoped the owner would not send him away, because where would he go than?
/'There wasn't any sort of problem, was there?'/ the owner added, when the blind man didn't respond straight away.
/'I, uhm, met some new people there and I slept over at one of the pro's place for a few nights,'/ Sai didn't want to name Ogata. /'But, uhm, we had a falling out, of sorts, and I don't know if I want to go back there.../' he confessed.
/'I see,/' the owner said pensively. /'Well, you're perfectly welcome here anytime,'/ he said cheerfully and clamped a big hand on Sai shoulder, stepping back before Sai could thank him.
Sai's opponent was called Doumoto and the owner and old man Soga advised him to play Sai at a 7 stone handicap, even though the man objected at the perceived insult to his Go ability.
As Sai responded to the first move, placing the corresponding stones on his imaginary Goban, a wave a pure happiness went through him. He was playing Go again, with the prospect of many more games today, how marvelous! Everything else in his life faded to the background, and his world narrowed to a 19 by 19 grid once more.
xXXx
About 50 hands into the game Sai was having serious doubts about the recommended handicap the owner and Soga-san had set for this player. This man needed more like 9 or 10 stones, Sai thought. He didn't want to pulverize his opponent! Apart from the fact that that would be rude, it made for very poor Go and made the player who did the pulverizing look like a bully. And that was surely not what Sai wanted!
He cast about at what to do; if he played on like this, crushing Doumoto was inevitable. Then Sai had an idea. He had seen the man had blind spot; he liked to play around the star points and tended to forget there was a center and sides too. How about Sai lead the other player there and showed him there was more room out there.
He called a coordinate that placed a stone near one of the sides of the board. This move would not gain him any territory, nor would it defend any existing territory, nor was it an offensive move. The move solely was meant to draw the other man's focus to a different location, and maybe he'd learn something new.
Sai waited with baited breath if his move had the desired effect. He had led opponents around the board before but always with the intent of getting them at a disadvantage, never before just to teach them new possibilities.
Doumoto thought for a long time, before he finally put a stone next to Sai's. It was almost as if he were asking the blind man, 'Where are we going?' or 'What are you showing me here?'. Sai played more stones at that location, not trying to set traps or gain ground, to which Doumoto answered with more questioning stones. After the blind man was satisfied the other had realized that this was a location one could play at, he played his next move at /tengen/; the center of the board.
His opponent again followed him and they started a merry dance around the center star. Once Sai was satisfied that this location had been pointed out enough he turned back to more seriously playing the game. Overall the board was now a big mess with only a cohesive battle field around the first star point they had started the game with. Sai started to strengthen his formation there, while Doumoto tried to get a foot in as well.
Sai was absolutely delighted that once his opponent had decided there was nothing more he could do at the star point, he moved to the only clear bit of space that was left, close to the side of the board and not anywhere near a star. Wow. The man had actually learned, after Sai had shown him the way. The feeling of accomplishment made Sai's hands tingle.
oOOo
It was after the game that the trouble started. Sai was sitting back in his chair, nursing a plastic cup of green tea the owner had gotten him, still very satisfied with himself when Doumoto spoke.
'You played /shidogo/ with me, didn't you?' he asked, sounding miffed.
/Shidogo/?
'What is /shidogo/,' Sai asked, genuinely ignorant.
'Don't play dumb with me! You can't play /shidogo/ with someone at 7 stones and still win, and then tell me you don't know what /shidogo/ is!'
Sai pulled both his arms in front of himself, would have spilled his drink had he not finished it already, in a defensive move at the tone of the man. Doumoto's voice had come from above him, indicating the man had gotten up and was looming over the blind man. And he sounded very very angry.
/Not again/, was all Sai could think. Why did he keep getting into trouble? Every time he had tried something new with Go, somebody ended up mad at him.
Sai pulled his arms up higher and pleaded, /'Don't hit me,'/ his voice no more than a whisper.
'Doumoto-san!' the owners voice called. 'Leave him be. He probably really doesn't know. He didn't learn to play Go until a week ago!'
The looming presence moved away and Sai slowly let down his arms from over his head, keeping them in front of his chest, just in case.
'What?!? A week ago? That's impossible! I don't believe it!' The man had stepped back some, but Sai didn't feel safe enough to relax quite yet.
'It's true,' old man Soga interjected, 'I was there when he walked in the door. I saw Owner-san play him for the first time. Played him right after, twice, and saw him grow before my eyes. It was marvelous!'
Sai lowered his arms and started to blush with the praise.
'Doumoto-san,' the owner said, 'I've never heard Mayō here, I mean Fujiwara, tell an untruth, I don't even think he could, so you can believe him when he says he doesn't know something.'
Sai's blush drained away. Never tell an untruth? He had not lied about not knowing /shidogo/ but his stomach squeezed at the reminder of the lies he had told earlier. He had lied to these people, who hadn't been anything but nice and honest to him, and he knew he would have to lie again if their questions became too awkward. The prospect gave the blind man chills.
'Well alright, if you say so Owner-san,' Doumoto conceded, having moved back to his position at the other side of the Goban.
'/Shidogo/ is when you use your moves to teach your opponent something about game strategy, during the game. /Shidogo/ means teaching-go. Winning is not the aim, teaching is. And it's only possible to use the technique if the teacher is much stronger at Go than the pupil.' Soga patiently explained to the blind man.
Only if the teacher is much stronger? Maybe Sai should have expected to be stronger than his current opponent, but he really hadn't thought about it in those terms. If he had played /shidogo/ at a 7 stone disadvantage and still had won then...
'Doumoto-san, forgive me!' Sai bowed deeply. 'I meant no insult! I just wanted to make the game last longer and I had noticed you seemed to skip certain areas of the board. I, I didn't mean to upset you, I'm sorry...' he trailed off.
A silence fell. Had he made it worse by apologizing?
'Apology accepted,' the other man finally said, sounding a touch reluctant. Sai found himself exhaling. Maybe he had not made an enemy after all. And the blind man hoped that over time he could make him a friend.
xXXx
'Now I want to play you,' Soga announced.
'Hey, I said that I wanted to before you did!' a voice came from behind him. The 6 stone player, whose name he could not quite recall.
'Age before beauty, I want to gauge his strength,' the old man said and that seemed to settle the argument as the Goban was cleared and the /goke/ refilled.
Again the owner took the opportunity to whisper into Sai left ear.
/'There was a phone call earlier for you, while you were playing. A fellow called Ogata was looking for you.'/
Oh no, Ogata had tracked him down? How could he have?
/'You didn't tell him I'm here did you?!'/ Sai tried to keeps his voice to a whisper too.
/'No, I didn't think you'd like me to.'/
/'Oh good. Thank you,'/ the blind man sighed in relief. He did not want Ogata to know anything about this place right now.
/'Is that the same Ogata-pro that holds the Jūdan title?'/ the owner inquired.
Sai hadn't heard the name of the title Ogata held, but there couldn't be many Ogata's with high Go rankings and a title out there, so chances were that it was him. Sai nodded.
/'Is that also the one who you had the falling out with?'/ was the owner's next question.
Sai gave a single nod. He wasn't going to lie about it, but he did wish the owner would drop the subject soon.
/'So you have a contact number?'/
Again a single nod.
/'Look, you'd better call him, he sounded really worried. He said he's been calling every Go-club in Tokyo looking for you.'/
Ogata was worried? Or was he merely upset his pet ran away? No, that was not a very charitable thought, Sai chastised himself.
The owner was right of course, and Sai knew it. But he didn't feel like talking to the titleholder just yet. Especially not now that Soga announced he was ready to play.
/'Maybe later,'/ he told the owner dismissively and then pointed all his attention at the game and his repeat opponent.
oOOo
Soga had claimed all the corner stars and /tengen/ as his 5 stone head start.
'Don't molly coddle me now, sonny, I want to see your current strength, so play me properly.' the man commanded.
Sai nodded and then concentrated on the game.
It was within the first 30 moves that Sai started to notice a very unsettling fact; the 5 stones that he had played the man at last week, were not the right number. It should be nearer 7 or 8. But that did not tally with the number 5 they had correctly settled on a week ago.
By move 51 Sai was sorely tempted to go easy on the old man. With the way he was clobbering the man right now, this game would be over really soon. But Soga had insisted, no 'molly coddling', and going against his express command seemed more disrespectful to Sai than clobbering him. But still, it hurt the blind man to have to eviscerate someone in this way, even if they had asked for it.
By move 68 Soga resigned. There was not a battlement of his left standing and if they had counted the man's points, they would have come up with 0.
This is not how Sai wanted to play Go, pounding an opponent into the ground, it was horrible, it made him feel dirty, like was an utter bully. He vowed never to do it again.
The former ghost who had tried to hide his moist eyes behind his hand since move 56, now lowered it and said, 'I'm so sorry, I...'
'Don't you dare apologize!' the old man barked.
'I asked, and now I know. You are not to blame.' Soga's voice had softened somewhat. He paused before continuing slowly. 'When Kawai-kun told me he had taken you to the pro-Go club and just left you there, I was not pleased. He said that you belonged there and not here. Why would you not belong here? Are we not good enough for you? I thought.' The old man audibly exhaled. 'But now that I played you, at full strength, I realize he was right. You grew into a giant in the few days you've been away. We're like ants now. You belong there and not here, Fujiwara-sensei.' Soga let out a long sight.
Everyone was silent, as tears ran down the blind man's face. Sai wanted to scream 'No that's not true! I belong here, with you!' But he knew it was a lie. Here he'd never play anyone of his own level, here he'd never have the chance to even glimpse the Hand of God. Here his Go could never grow, and he feared that very soon he'd resent that fact.
Sai covered his face with his hand and started crying in earnest. This was not his home, or his haven, and the rejection hurt him deeply.
oOOo
Don't forget to review!!!!
C'mon guys, gimme some love!!!